My Blog

     I didn’t expect this.

     I was contented. I was beginning to flourish in a new place, a new job was keeping me occupied, and I was making new friends. I had a sweet girlfriend waiting back at home, and was reunited with long-lost cousins and favorite aunts.

     I did not lack for anything. Or so I thought.

     I remember the morning that she came. She strode into the E.R., swaggered in so unfemininely, caring not how she appeared. It was the day after my first duty, and I was very tired and very apprehensive about the upcoming endorsement, so I just gave a cursory glance at her.

     It was at that very moment that she smiled.

     She was not even smiling at me, and yet I was thunderstruck! It was such a sweet, sweet smile, an image of beauty that leaves an indelible memory, to be savored over and over and over. I knew that I was smitten, and smitten bad.

     I cringe over the thought that, yes, I had fallen again as if for the first time. This is my second first love. I had done crazy things in the past, but what I had done for this is unbelievable, even to me.

     But this is not about what I did for her. This post is about what she did to me.

     Once, I had my heart broken by a person whom I trusted with my all. I truly believed that I could never be in love with anyone else the same way, as I had become wary of love. I thought that I could not stand the risk, the vulnerability of being so open to another person. I was scarred to the point of numbness, so that I could no longer feel the pain. I would never love another the same way again, I thought.

     What do you know? Just when you think that you’ve got life all figured out, it throws a curve ball at you. Of course I was wrong about loving, and I am glad I was!

          She had proven me wrong. And she did it by just being herself. She did not give me anything, but she gave me back everything.  I have known her so much more since our first meeting, and I find myself falling in love more and more each day. And, before I knew it, the scars in my heart were gone. It was whole again, ready to be given again, renewed by a miracle that is she.

     I do not know what the future holds. There are naysayers (and they are a lot) who told me I’m in for another hurt. A few (and they are my true friends) said I was crazy. Only one said that, as long as I’m sure of what my heart has told me, then go ahead. He gave one caveat, though: proceed with extreme caution.

     I fell in love before, and I gave my all. When it ended, I thought that I wasn’t capable of giving what I was able to give before. That was before I met her and was renewed by her. I fell in love as if for the first time. She is my second first love. She is my only love.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 1st, 2008 at 11:14 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.